Blackmail is common, and we’ve all been exposed to it sometimes in life. It is a pressure that a person exerts on someone through threats to compel or condition him to do something in a certain way and thus achieve a benefit.
Emotional blackmail is a strategy that uses fear, guilt, or obligation as a means of getting the other person to do something that benefits us. It could be said that it is a form of psychological abuse and that it can occur in all kinds of relationships, such as between friends, between a couple or between family members.
The second step is to learn to be assertive. Generally, people who are blackmailed have a passive communication style and stop defending their rights and need to yield to those of others. To remedy it, it would be important to learn a series of techniques to promote assertiveness. For example, your best friend wants you to take him with you on a trip, and he says: “If you don’t take me with you on a trip, you will regret the rest of your life.” What a blackmailed person would do would be to take the person on the trip to avoid possible retaliation. However, the proper way to respond by being assertive would be: “Sorry, I had this trip planned for a long time, and you cannot come with me.” That is to say, the person they are trying to blackmail should show their position and state that they are not afraid of the threat. Some of the most used assertive techniques are “fog bank” or “scratched disc.” Learning to say “no” is the most important step in neutralizing blackmailers.
The third step is to always be assertive. Blackmailers usually choose their victims depending on the influence they think they can have on them. That is, if one person emotionally blackmails another, it will be because he has seen that the other party may succumb to his wishes. Consequently, it is very important that once you start being assertive, you maintain your position and do not give in to any blackmail.
A breakup is a common thing that many people go through. It has various social and psychological implications that can affect the person in various areas of his life. It is a stressful event that, if not managed properly, can have very negative consequences.
Therefore, we explain what a couple of breakup consists of, what psychological and social implications it may have, what the stages are, and what to do to manage it in a satisfactory way.
As we have seen, the stages that a rupture has are diverse, and the physiological, emotional, and social consequences can be far-reaching. For this reason, we present you with a series of recommendations and guidelines so that you can manage the breakup in a positive way so that emotions and negative or unpleasant consequences have the least possible impact.
Give yourself time
A breakup is not overcome overnight, and you need time to process the new situation, accept what has happened, and rethink your life. If you share an address or if you have children in common, you will need time to plan and organize yourself in the new scenario
Accept your emotions
During the process, you will experience all kinds of emotions, it is normal to feel sad or afraid, to be angry with yourself or with the ex-partner, and you must accept it. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions, do not try to manage them by avoiding them, since the more you avoid an emotion, the more intense it will be.
Plan activities that make you feel good
It is possible that during this process, you feel that you have lost the desire to do things; you feel less motivated to carry out activities, and what the “body asks” is to isolate yourself from the world. Although it is true that you need time to process the situation, locking yourself indefinitely at home will not help you much. Plan activities that you know you like even if you don’t feel like them as pleasant activities modulate our negative moods and help us focus our mind on other aspects of life beyond breakup.
Do not hate or idolize the other party
Your ex-partner is someone with whom you have shared a certain time in your life, but you have decided to take different paths. Idolizing or hating him won’t do you any good.
Every relationship in its beginnings is an explosion of emotions, where positive and exciting sensations prevail and a high physiological activation, which is what we know as ” butterflies in the stomach. “
This occurs in what we call the infatuation phase. In this phase, our body responds and is activated because the person we are meeting is “a mystery to be discovered,” where novelty and surprise are a motor to continue knowing the person.
This is a phase of great satisfaction, the moments that are spent with the couple are generally pleasant moments, fun moments are shared such as vacations, weekend outings where fun activities are carried out that generate great satisfaction. This phase continues until deep ties are established.
The end of this phase gives way to the next, which is what we know as the commitment phase. In it, the two members of the couple are willing to give continuity to the relationship.
In this phase, the novelty and the mystery give way to the knowledge of the other, who has become a real person, with his or her strengths and weaknesses.
Communication skills mean knowing how to express to others what we need, want, feel and think, honestly, sincerely, and constructively, trying to open a two-way communication channel where both can talk about problems without criticism or reproach.
Ability to solve problems
Another essential skill is the ability to solve problems.
In any relationship, problems will appear, even the most harmonious couples have to face a whole range of problems. In this, there is no difference between successful couples and conflictive couples; the difference lies in how they solve conflicts.
Ability to positively reinforce the other
Another of the fundamental characteristics and attitudes of successful couples is their ability to positively reinforce each other.
And last and not least, another of the attitudes that successful couples put into practice is the instrumental skills that allow coexistence to be regulated.
Successful couples know, know, and apply these regulatory rules, but not only this, but they are also able to relax these rules to adapt them to different situations and circumstances.
Unsuccessful couples, by contrast, have not established a body of regulators of coexistence and relationship, or although they have established it, this regulatory body is not respected.
Therefore developing these four skills is essential to have a successful relationship that is a source of satisfaction and happiness for both ourselves and our partners.